is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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