here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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