i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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