She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
