I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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