Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
