just tell him i said nine months
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
