i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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