I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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