dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
