Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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