you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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