Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
