Define "chronic" masturbator.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
