so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
