you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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