Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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