Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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