my vag is so smooth its legendary
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
sex in a hospital.. check
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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