I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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