Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity