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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb

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• (818): View more from California

  you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark

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• (305): View more from Florida

  gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill

  (970): View more from Colorado

  did you ask her what wine to pair it with?

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?

  (1-901): View more from Tennessee

  Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?

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• (315): View more from New York

  I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability

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