does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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