Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?