Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid

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  (630): I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid http://tfl.nu/l9sh
  Replies (10) Good night (2849) Bad night (1185)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!

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  (712): He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!! http://tfl.nu/bjv4
  Replies (15) Good night (739) Bad night (5278)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.

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  (410): She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on. http://tfl.nu/tb1p
  Replies (21) Good night (782) Bad night (5265)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags

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  (404): Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags http://tfl.nu/uxsx
  Replies (12) Good night (830) Bad night (4455)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?

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  (203): We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad? http://tfl.nu/ilwk
  Replies (37) Good night (7917) Bad night (1411)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name

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  (561): Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name http://tfl.nu/36j9
  Replies (4) Good night (3244) Bad night (905)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  you thought your balls were fighting each other...

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  (815): you thought your balls were fighting each other... http://tfl.nu/ci9x
  Replies (13) Good night (4102) Bad night (1796)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.

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  (706): What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/pbev
  Replies (3) Good night (6044) Bad night (1053)
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  (626): View more from California

  One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska

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  (626): One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska http://tfl.nu/5za1
  Replies (16) Good night (4563) Bad night (1408)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors

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  (870): He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors http://tfl.nu/atyp
  Replies (6) Good night (2468) Bad night (783)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.

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  (570): Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer. http://tfl.nu/iju5
  Replies (12) Good night (1665) Bad night (1238)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day

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  (859): By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day http://tfl.nu/zi65
  Replies (2) Good night (1269) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.

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  (850): I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry. http://tfl.nu/53sz
  Replies (11) Good night (1577) Bad night (520)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.

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  (908): You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out. http://tfl.nu/tk4x
  Replies (4) Good night (1105) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.

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  (970): Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck. http://tfl.nu/kc9w
  Replies (2) Good night (589) Bad night (226)

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