so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
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shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum