man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.