i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
