i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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