i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
