I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
