One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
