i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
