No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
