im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
