Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
