If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
