So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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