Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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