If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
im about as happy as oj after his trial
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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