are you so shy because you have an std?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
