I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
