You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
