just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
