dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
