North Korea, Best Korea!
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
