I want to walk on stilts...naked
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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