Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
