you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
