Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Randomize
