So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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