she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
