Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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