Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
