U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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