apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
