I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
