if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
