i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
