rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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