The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
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Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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