Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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