so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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