Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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