After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
