So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
