We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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