Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
